Monday, October 17, 2011

Methinks the lady doth overestimate too much... Or underestimate as the case may be

So as it turns out the "All That Glitters" project was a great project in theory... But an epic fail in practice. For starters, getting together that many crystals is simply wayyy too expensive. I'm talking hundreds of dollars here, and that's only enough to make one moderate/ small sized piece. Also, crystals, poor lighting, and my camera= a bad combo. The pictures don't come out clear and the color of the crystals gets lost in translation.  I think it's time to scrap that project and come up with something new. On the bright side I've started a series of nude paintings which I'm excited for. It feels like finally being given enough room to stretch my legs after sitting in a cramped car for days on end. Aka. Damn good. I wish there were more technical instruction in terms of realism and form etc. at Mason Gross, but I clearly went to the wrong school for that.
I have to say... Thinking about my art, and school, and my future, I find it very difficult to find the drive, interest, or energy to do time-limited and graded projects. I don't plan on being a "professional" artist anymore, Mason Gross turned me off from that, so though I'm going for my BFA because this is my last year and there would be no point to switching now, none of what I'm doing will be applicable in my future profession. In whatever job I hold in the future, no one will be grading me on the abstract concept behind my ideas or theories etc. Art school has simply taken all of the enjoyment out of art for me, and it's such a pity that it keeps me from wanting to create. I don't necessarily think my art is relevant to the modern times, other than that it takes a dark trend majority of the time. (Which is what we tend to see now in books, politics, movies, lyrics, etc.). Then again, for me I don't feel the NEED for my art to be relevant in modern times. I don't make my art for modern times. I don't make my art for those who would critique it, tear it apart, or say it's irrelevant or pointless. I make it for myself, because I love to make art, love to create, love to be creative. I hate the way art school has drained the freedom I love most from art. It has turned what was once a delightful release in to a chore, a deadline to be dreaded, something to be fretted over and worried about... It suppose it's part of the struggle of being an art student, to come to terms with where your place is in the art world, and whether you have one to begin with... I don't quite know where I stand yet, but it definitely isn't here.

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